IN THIS ISSUE:
1.  Notes from the Coach - Big Solutions and Big Excuses!
2.  Depression Antidote No. 8 - Eliminate some Excuses
3.  Alternative Approach - Coaching
4.  Coming Soon - Group Coaching
5.  Resources
6.  Just for Fun - Amusing Answering Machine Messages

1. Notes from the Coach

Straight to the heart of the matter this week - where are you not being honest with yourself?
Did that hit you between the eyes? Good! If not, read the question again?

What I'm really after here is the little things that easily slip by unnoticed. It's easy to focus on the big changes, come up with big solutions and give up feeling overwhelmed.

For example, I want more time. An obvious solution would be to send Sam to nursery for longer. However, I can't afford that at present so I stay stuck in not having enough time. Seems reasonable but actually I'm not being totally honest here.

When I'm ruthlessly honest with myself I notice a mountain of little ways that I could increase my time. For example, I'm writing this newsletter whilst Sam is asleep - I usually only write in the morning when he is out of the house. Normally I would be relaxing now, i.e. sitting with my feet up. But actually this is relaxing. So, when I choose to, I can reorganise my time a bit to gain extra space.

I could stop messing around with bits of paper, (you know picking up and putting down the same items, over a number of days - weeks even!) and deal with things when they are in my hand.

I could limit the amount of television I watch.

There are a huge number of things I could choose to do to make more time. It's just easier to blame money and stay stuck.

Another issue I have is I'd like to employ a cleaner but I can't afford one. Ruthless honesty again tells me the place is such a mess a cleaner couldn't get in let alone flick a duster!

So although there are big reasons why my life isn't as I'd like it, I can see that there are lots of little things I'm choosing to ignore which would help make a difference, if I embraced them.

Focussing on the big solutions and staying stuck makes things seem hopeless. Feeling hopeless is a big attraction for depression.

So stop making excuses, take care of the basics and watch the big solutions fall into place!

2. Depression Antidote No. 8

Find an area of your life that you wish was different. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself. What is the truth about the things you'd like but don't have - about the things you do have but wish you didn't? What little things are you willing to do to begin taking action towards having what you want? Don't be fooled by big solutions that lie in the future. What can you do now? Take some action now and stop making excuses. The energy you gain will far surpass the effort you put in. (Remember - don't struggle - choose something small and manageable).

3. Alternative Approach

At last I get to write about my favourite alternative approach and answer some of the questions that many of you have asked.

I find it useful to use an analogy of an umbrella to explain the relationship between Life Coaching and depression. Medication and, if necessary, psychotherapy are the handle, whilst the spokes are all the other approaches. In order for the umbrella to work you need a stable handle. The spokes are interdependent and, as such, it doesn't matter if one or two are broken. The umbrella will still work.

To benefit from coaching it is essential you have recovered sufficiently from your depression to have energy and motivation to move forward. You need a strong handle. Then, through coaching, you can discover which spokes you personally need to put in place in order that your particular umbrella works to its optimum performance.

Once working you can use your umbrella to protect you from the rain or sun. You can choose when you want to use it and when you want to put it down. You can use it to hide. You can make it attractive. You can jazz it up or you can make it plain. Your spokes can me made from aromatherapy, meditation, herbs, and holidays, support groups - whatever works for you. You can change them as, and when, necessary.

The great appeal of life coaching is that you and your coach create the process to suit you individually. An essential part of the journey is discovering what works/doesn't work for you. No two umbrellas will ever be the same.

I started working with my first coach last January. My depression was in a period of remission and I was very excited about formalising the coaching I was doing into a business. My focus was on getting more clients, earning more money, chasing big solutions.

Initially I was energised by the excitement of my new goals. But since I hadn't made any changes to the way I usually approach my life my self-defeating habits overcame the excitement and led me back to depression. My disappointment that I wasn't "cured" kept me stuck there. The outcome of working with my first coach was to be supported back to taking medication. That is, to taking the steps necessary to get my umbrella's handle in place.

With renewed energy and motivation my approach is now one of exploration and acceptance rather than cure. I'm looking at what spokes work for me and what I need to change to get them in place. I'm not expecting never to be depressed again but my umbrella is making me better able to deal with/avoid the lows. Working with my coach enables this to happen faster and in a more focussed way. She helps me choose better habits and stay on track for what I truly want from my life.

This is the approach I follow with my clients who are recovering/recovered from depression. Together we explore what they truly want from their lives and then we go about creating it. Together we design an umbrella that maximises their options for maintaining their recovery and making the process enjoyable. (For more information see the Life Coaching area of my web site, or explore this week's 'Resources').

4. Coming Soon

Over the coming months I will be offering group coaching on topics covered in Depression Antidotes. All you will pay is the cost of a phone call to the United States. Do you know how to make cheap calls to the US? I have information applicable to calls from the UK but I don't know the situation in other countries. If you can help please contact us so we can pass the information on to participants. Thanks for your help!

5. Resources

**www.CoachU.com**

A comprehensive web site offering information about Coaching in all its forms. It also provides links to other associated sites, coaching products and a Coach Referral section.

6. Just for Fun

**Actual answering machine messages recorded and verified by the world famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages.**

"My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished."

"A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message."

"Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money."

"Hi. Now you say something."

"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

(From Japanese friend) "He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!"

"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.

Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

"This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

"Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us."

"Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you."

Have a wonder-filled week

Nancy

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