Learning to Cope with Generalized Anxiety Disorder“My chest is pounding. I can’t breath. My head is spinning. I’m going to faint. I’m having a heart attack…I‘m dying.” These are all thoughts that went through my mind before I was officially diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. After numerous trips to the Emergency Room for what I was sure was a heart attack, a doctor bluntly and very rudely told me I needed therapy because there was nothing physically wrong with me. I had to disagree with him. I had lost 30 pounds, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, my stomach was in knots all the time, and I spent all of my waking hours lying in bed worrying about what was wrong with me. In retrospect, I now agree with that particular physician because I now know what was and is wrong with me. I voluntarily admitted myself to a counseling center 3 days after that last Emergency Room visit, not actually because I thought something emotionally was wrong with myself, but basically because the physician embarrassed me so much when he talked to me, that I would never go back to the Emergency Room for these symptoms. Not to mention the fact that I wasn‘t functioning properly. I had the mentality at that time basically of not caring anymore but also knowing deep down something actually was wrong with me and knowing I could not live like that anymore. I was in the center for 7 days, during which I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and stress, started on medication, learned what was causing the anxiety, and also learned techniques to deal with the panic attacks. The biggest cause for my anxiety and panic attacks was stress. My marriage was falling apart, we were having financial problems, I was working 60 hours a week, trying to raise my two daughters and run the household. Something had to give and it ended up being me. From the very beginning of my hospitalization, I learned that listening to soothing music with a headset on will help redirect my mind so that I am no longer focusing on my panic attack. I was having panic attacks every night before going to bed so I ended up falling asleep with a headset on listening to nature sounds, soothing music, or rain noises. This in turn, made the panic subside. They also taught me that someone talking to me during a panic attack will make the panic dissolve. This again helped by redirecting my thinking to something other than my panic attack. Journaling has also been a major contributor to helping me get back on my feet and be where I am today. I learned that by writing my feelings down on paper, this causes a mental release for me, and I can let go of them without having a panic attack. I have also learned that I needed to set some time aside each and every day just for myself in the peace and quiet. Fast forward to the present, five years have passed since my panic attacks began. I am now fully functional again though I do have some days when things are tough for me just to get out of bed in the mornings. But I do because I have two daughters to get off to school. My panic attacks are now few and far between but they do still occur when I am under considerable more stress than normal. I figured out what was causing me such stress five years ago and dealt with most of them. I am now only working part-time instead of the 60 hours. This was a major contributor to my stress. My ex-husband (yes we are divorced now) and I had major marital problems and communication problems which, after getting my own personal life functioning again, I was much better able to cope with these problems. I will never be able to quit taking my medications but I have learned to live with the fact that in order for me to function, I have to take it. I am on my third journal and have started my writing career again which somehow fell into the cracks along with the many other facets of my life before the anxiety disorder was diagnosed. I am still going to group therapy each week to help learn how to deal with what life throws at me. I do not go to crowded places as this seems to set off a panic attack. Three years after my hospitalization for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and stress, I made a visit to the doctor who was rude to me in the Emergency Room. I swallowed my pride and thanked him for opening my eyes to the fact that I needed therapy. He is actually a very kind doctor with whom I have great respect for. Yes at the time I thought he was being rude, but, he has since told me he knew that was what it would take to get me to go for counseling due to my emotional state. I thanked him for setting me on the path to lead a normal life. He chuckled and said with a mischievous glint in his eye, “Your welcome, whatever normal is.” (c)2004 Tracie DeShields. Freelance Writer. All Rights Reserved. |