The more attention I pay to my thoughts the more I notice their potential to sabotage my recovery. Habitual negative thoughts often flash in and out of consciousness - seemingly unbidden. They are more like a reflex action rather than something consciously created. Something happens, for example, I'm woken earlier than I would like, and I start to think how this always happens, which leads to nothing works in my life, which leads to everything's hopeless, which leads to there's not point in trying, etc. etc.

No doubt there are thoughts in between but the point is, I start with something minor and end up with writing off all of life, including myself. I've noticed this happening frequently in all sorts of circumstances. It takes vigilance and effort to halt the downward spiral but I know this is a vital element in my recovery.

Cognitive Therapy is sometimes employed to treat depression. It teaches us to take voluntary control of our thoughts in order to gain indirect control of our mood. If we apply the same principles, when in recovery, we can increase our chances of staying free from depression.

Here are the steps to take:

I. Identify your Habitual Negative Thinking

In particular look for:

      * Either/or thinking
Characterising your experience by one of two categories like "good" or "bad", "success" or "failure", "right" or "wrong"
(e.g. "I'm a total failure." The truth is we rarely totally fail or totally succeed)
      * Overgeneralisation
Taking a single example and applying it to all similar experiences
(e.g., One of my emails was returned today. I knew using the internet wouldn't work)
      * Discounting the Positive
Focussing only on the negative aspects of an experience and ignoring the positive (e.g., I won the lottery today. How on earth am I going to decide what to spend the money on)
      * Magnification of other people's success and minimising your own
(e.g., What's so clever about holding down a responsible job, Felicity does that and looks after two small children and an organic allotment with goats and chickens?)
      * "Should have" Statements
Since these are concerned with past experiences, which can't be changed, they can serve no useful purpose but only make you feel worse
(e.g., I should have bargained harder for the car. I paid too much)
      * Personal Labelling
Giving yourself a hard time by judging yourself harshly and applying such labels as stupid, worthless, loser etc. to yourself.
(e.g., I forgot to post that letter. I'm so stupid!)
      * Personalisation- taking responsibility for someone else's experience/feelings (e.g., If I'd helped more, Sally would not have failed her driving test)

2. Take Conscious Action against your Habitual Negative Thoughts

There are a number of ways to do this, when you notice this type of thinking:

     * Challenge it- don't take it for granted that it is correct and rational. Really look at it and consciously question its accuracy.
     * Interrupt Them - when you catch your thinking spiralling down and out of control imagine a stop sign or a red light. Tell yourself "I'm going to stop this series of habitual negative thoughts. They have no function other than to make me feel depressed".
     * Substitute another thought - Immediately after interrupting your series of negative thought introduce its positive opposite. Even if it feels untrue keep repeating the positive thought to yourself. Change "I really made a fool of myself last night" to "I had a lot of fun with my friends last night".

The ancient philosophy of stoicism made the point that it is not circumstances themselves that make us happy, sad, angry etc., but our thoughts about them. Our thoughts affect our perceptions and our emotional states.

Two thousand years ago Epictetus wrote, "First, say to yourself what you would be: and then do what you have to do". In this case say to yourself you want to maintain your recovery and then voluntarily think the thoughts that will accomplish this.

**Think your Way to Happiness by Dr. W. Dryden and J. Gordon**
This book has a specific chapter on thoughts and depression. Other topics include love problems, worry and anxiety and problems of self-discipline.

** www.cybercheeze.com**
This site was recommended by a reader. It contains jokes, humour and cartoons and the chance to subscribe to the 'Joke of the Day Mailing List' which she says "(is) good for a smile most days and sometimes I get a real chuckle out of it".

Dormitory = Dirty Room
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
Slot Machines = Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity = Is No Amity
Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness = Genuine Class
Semolina = Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
Contradiction = Accord not in it
Politicians:
Margaret Thatcher = That great charmer
The Conservative Party = Teacher in vast poverty
George Bush = He bugs Gore
Ronald Reagan = A darn long era

And the grand finale:
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."
- Neil A. Armstrong
---A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

Nancy

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