IN THIS ISSUE:
1. Notes from the Coach - "Accepting Depression"
2. Depression Antidote No. 14 - Play in the Sand
3. Alternative Approach - Improve your Conversation
4. Resources
5. Just for Fun - Product Labels

1. Notes from the Coach

Accept depression. Don't fight it.

I continue to ride the roller coaster of depression. A couple of weeks ago I had 2 dreadful days when my heart was still beating but my life had stopped. My feet felt as though they weighed a ton and I dragged myself around on them.

I have always assumed that some day I would be cured. Some day I will be better - depressed no more. And yet, I wonder. If I could accept the black days for what they are - days when I feel depressed. Not the end of my life, not proof that everything is hopeless, not proof that I'm irreparably damaged or a failure. Would I experience less pain?

Negative self-judgement is so damaging. It gives energy to the depression and extends its life.
Last week my coach asked me to consider that depression might be a positive part of who I am. She said the same thing months ago but I just wrote it off as yet another statement by someone who doesn't understand what it's like to be depressed. This time I am prepared to consider the possibility.

Through paying close attention over the last year I have been able to identify ways in which depression serves me. Ways in which depression can be said to be a positive factor in my life.

When I am depressed I allow myself to refuse to do things I would otherwise agree to - like visiting relatives. I allow myself to do things I usually judge negatively - like sitting around reading a book for hours or watching mindless television. I allow myself to withdraw and give myself space.

The strange thing is that if I were depressed and I could just allow it - even feel that it was a positive part of my life - I doubt I would be depressed.

Isn't it the feelings of self-hatred that makes the whole experience of depression worse? What if I accepted myself instead? How long could I maintain the blackness if there was no negative judgement?

I know I hang onto depression sometimes because I allow myself more freedom when I'm depressed. I let myself off the hook but I judge myself harshly for it.

How would it be if I let myself off the hook but let that be OK? What if depression is a signal that I'm denying my true self and not living my life according to my true values?

How much of my problem is with the way I actually feel, and how much is it with what I'm telling myself about how I feel?

Important Realisation - How we treat ourselves in depression is more important than getting over it or what we'll do when it's over. Even when depressed, we have only the moment.

Over the next month ask yourself the questions above. Experiment with acceptance and let me know of any breakthroughs!

2. Depression Antidote No. 14

Buy yourself a child's bucket and spade set - preferably with a sieve, watering can and animal moulds. Take yourself off to the nearest beach or sandpit and start playing. You'll be surprised how therapeutic building a sandcastle, digging a hole or sieving pebbles is. It's a great chance to get lost in the moment, to relax and enjoy your creativity. Don't worry if you don't have children. Just start playing and become a magnet for other peoples' kids. Or, you'll be so engrossed you won't notice anything around you anyway. Bliss!

3. Alternative Approach

(Taken from Dr. Gillett's book. See Resources below)

Since conversation is so important in living a full life, and since loneliness and depression are so closely connected, the art of conversation is well worth developing. To make a conversation more interesting, take the risk of opening up subjects which are on the edge of acceptability, and transcend small talk for more intimate, challenging conversation. It may be worthwhile bearing in mind a few thought-provoking points:

If you are bored by somebody, it is more profitable to find out why his is interested in the subject he is talking about than to pass silent judgement. Be curious and ask questions.

Give, rather than expect to receive.

Laugh at yourself and look for the humour in situations.

Feel less self-consciousness and selfish by directing yourself to what the other person is interested in. Turn yourself outwards by cultivating friendliness and by imagining yourself in another's place.

If you find yourself holding back, take that as a sign that it is time to talk.

Feeling inferior or superior is a conversation-stopper.

Treat others as interesting and often they will become so.

4. Resources

**Overcoming Depression by Dr. Richard Gillett**
An easy-to-read, well-laid-out comprehensive guide to preventing, treating and overcoming depression. It includes orthodox, alternative and self-help methods, questionnaires and easy to follow tables.

** http://www.athealth.com **
A listing of hundreds of topics, counsellors and articles related to personal health, particularly mental health. Articles on prescription medication, links to professionals throughout the world, and lots of other information at your fingertips.

5. Just for Fun

Believe it or not these are actual label instructions appearing on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
Some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating
On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery
On Nytol sleeping aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness
On a kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use
On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
(From: bestofhumor.com)

Have a wonder-filled month!

Nancy

	Web This Site